The Lightning Rant for the Week Ending 12/18/11

What’s more annoying? The guy that tailgates you on the freeway or the guy that leaves 15 car-lengths between him and the car in front of him so he has plenty of time to react after he finishes his text?

I watched the first episode of the new series Luck. When Nick Nolte’s character looked out at the racetrack where his horse was training I knew in a nano-second that it was Santa Anita by the mountainous backdrop and palm trees. The fact that I could recognize it so easily despite not having stepped foot there in over 25 years speaks volumes to how screwed up my childhood was.

I don’t think cake donuts are really a donut in the true sense of the word. I find them disingenuous.

There is no good reason to take this person off of a TV show.

Season 3 of Justified is coming on January 17th. If the show just had the same balls as Boardwalk Empire they would kill off Winona and make everything so much more enjoyable.

Sidney Crosby needs to retire. He’s 24, rich, and has a Stanley Cup. He also gets concussions if he puts his hat on too tightly. It’s a shame, the kid is immensely talented but every concussion is damaging his brain. At the rate he’s going he won’t remember that Stanley Cup when he’s 60. The new data we are learning about concussions and their long-term effects on the human brain is frightening. It’s just a sport, it’s not worth losing your mind to.

For those that aren’t in the know, Costco thrives on what they call “the treasure hunt mentality”. That means you never know what you’ll find there and when you see something you like you feel compelled to get it in part because you don’t know if it will be there the next time you shop. For this reason, they are able to get consumers to buy things at unseasonable times. Today’s example – Margaritaville flip-flops and BBQ smokers on sale in December.

Losing this weekend might be the best thing in the world for the Green Bay Packers. As much as I’d like to see them go undefeated and shut Mercury Morris up for good, they’ve actually flown under the radar thanks to Tebow-mania.  They could enter the playoffs as the least talked about 15 and 1 team in history.

And I have to admit I’ve been all over the place with Tim Tebow. I hated the fact that the “experts” hated Tebow coming out of college. I admittedly don’t know much about college football but I read enough to believe that Cam Newton is dirty and I expect at some point he’ll be a pain in the ass. But Cam Newton is a physical specimen so we’ll just fawn all over his God-given talent and forget the sirens going off around his character. Tim Tebow is genuinely a good person and if you don’t like him as a person it means you’ve got some guilt over the way you are living your life. So I liked when Denver drafted him, but I wasn’t happy when I heard all the criticism. Then I started to realize that mechanically he wasn’t a very efficient quarterback. Then I saw him win game after game in amazing fashion. The Broncos may not make the playoffs this year but I have to think that the last couple of months have been incredible if you are a Broncos fan. Addendum – after losing to New England this Sunday I see a few people taking too much joy in the fact the Broncos lost. Mostly because they want to see Tebow knocked off his high horse. A high horse he didn’t put himself on.

Tim Tebow might not be as good a guy as his devotees think he is - but he's definitely not as bad as his detractors suggest.

On the other side of the coin, the fact that nobody has contacted Brett Favre despite a glut of quarterback injuries tells you what you need to know about the league’s perception of him.

If you were wondering how The People’s Choice Awards stacked up against other Hollywood awards, look no further than the fact that Kaley Cuoco is hosting to answer your question. I heard she was the third choice behind Teller and the gal from the Progressive car insurance commercials.

Extending the payroll tax by 2 months is like telling your friends that you’ll break up with your girlfriend after the New Year. You’re just prolonging a fight and a lot of name calling so why not get it done now?

The fact that there isn’t a transparent formula for calculating your credit score is inexcusable. Your credit score determines your finance rate in many cases so you may be paying more money than you need to. This reeks of corruption and collusion and how is it the government hasn’t forced better transparency with this? Oh yeah, most of the key economic members of our government used to work for the banks.

When was the last time somebody openly admitted that you were busier than they were? Probably something you don’t encounter too often, that’s one of the problems with our country, everybody thinks they are busier than everybody else. It’s why some folks feel entitled to act the way they do; they don’t have time for courtesy.

Every so often I misspell a word so badly that even Microsoft Word can’t fix it. I click on the word because of the red squiggle underneath it and the suggested fixes aren’t the word I’m looking for. Then I feel really dumb.

As a way of saying “Yes we screwed up”, Netflix is giving me a free rental this month. That’s like saying “Sorry we tried to extort and rob you, take this turkey sub as our way of admitting we got caught … oh, I mean apologizing.”

There's a reason forks were invented, douche, they work better. Look into it.

What the hell is Costco so worried about? Do they really think folks are going to start wheeling big screen TV’s out the front door without paying? The whole process of checking my receipt is getting old.

If you go to Panda Express and ask for chopsticks with your meal, you’re a douche.